One Tree Hill Series Finale!

"Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from. The next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it’s right around the corner, and you open up your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you’re wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it, with all of your heart."




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Happy Birthday Leli!!!

Today I celebrate my little sister's/ Best friends, Elezia's 30th Birthday. Though her & I aren't in speaking terms & haven't been in 6 yrs, she will ALWAYS know how much I Love & miss her, she's always in my heart & no matter how long it takes, I will still be here waiting for her.

My worse days are those when I wake up after dreaming with her & knowing I cant pick up the phone & call her, but I try to listen to P!nk's "Who Knew" & feel a little better.



We became friends in the 4th grade, November of 1991. She was the only one who was my friend while others claimed I had the "cooties". During 4th & 5th grade, our friendship grew & by the time we were in 6th grade... we were at each other's houses almost every weekend or on the phone non stop, so much so that our parents got us our own phone line.

During our middle school years we were separated & she was sent to private school, but our friendship kept on growing, & all we did was have sleep overs, or talk on the phone, everything BFF's did. I spent my teen years with HER, we were inseparable. She was the rebel, but I was her accomplice, we stuck by each other. We grew up & no matter what we remained friends. During high school we got into a nasty fight that kept us apart for close to a year, & when we became friends I dont know why but I hid it from my parents, right before my 18th Birthday, then we were right back where we were before, best friends again.

She was in my life for all my teen years, & throughout all my school years, it was our Sr year & Sr pictures came rolling around & it only felt right that she was in my Sr pictures...

We had a ball this day, & my life felt complete as a teen. I swore nothing could go wrong, but it did. About a yr or so later we got into another fight & it ended for about 2.5 yrs, during this time she moved from Miami to Melbourne, FL, I was engaged & was dying to get back in touch with her & make sure I didnt get married without her there. We were back together in no time & she was right there planning my wedding with me. She wasnt my maid of honor, & though she knew why, she understood & stood by me.

The best years were the years when I got married, she would come down from Melbourne & spend the weekend at our house & we would enjoy each others company. Then it was her turn, she finally found her man, in Melbourne, the one I suppose she was going to spend the rest of her life with... & so be it, she got engaged in August of 2005, & one of my last encounters with her was Labor day weekend:

Were these pictures of 2 friends that were growing apart? Well this was the excuse I got a few years after our friendship ended 6 yrs ago. We were getting ready for her wedding & we were the best friends we could possibly be. Then one day, it just went all down the drain. This time her soon to be husband was involved & this time I knew this fight would be different, I knew the ending of this friendship wasnt going to be the same as before... a lot of things were said & things that could possibly never be forgiven for saying.

I was angry that someone that we barely knew was allowed to come into our friendship & make decisions about OUR friendship & about her life. We had promised that we would NEVER allow a guy to come into our friendship but he was too strong & she broke that promise... & it all ended.

I have tried to live life over the years, & at times its fine & easy but then there are days that are hard to get by... the worse feeling was finding out she was pregnant & that I wasnt going to be there. Babies was something we didnt really talk about, I guess we were too into living our lives than worrying about having kids... Her son was born the day after my birthday, but she was due the DAY of my birthday. I have said that there is a reason for that, like it was a sign of some sort... but one day she'll figure it out.

But at this time I want to wish her an amazing birthday & bring back some crazy memories. My eyes have watered a million times while trying to write this blog post, bc I cant believe we have gone through so much. A person that has meant so much to me & shes so out of reach... Elezia, one day we'll find our way back & when that day comes all I will care about is that we are friends again, then maybe down the future I will ask why it took so long. Until then, take care of yourself & your baby boy. I love you & I will remind you each & every year how much I do, a piece of my heart is missing & Im not the same person w/o you in my life. You used to make everything better & now its hard to see things clearly... Since you've been gone I dont smile as much as I used to, & I hurt like you cant believe. I want my best friend back, but I cant have her, I dont understand why, we are suppose to be able to pick up where we left off & go on with life, Ive been told I am angry at the world, & I am... because the ONE person who can make me smile & enjoy life, hates me.

You are missed every single day! Happy Birthday! I Love you always lil sis.

Who Knew!?

One of my favorite songs, P!nk knew how to say it best for me when I lost a dear friendship just about 6 yrs ago... One of my favorite parts is:

"If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew"

Because all I used to do is dream about her & I used to wake up tortured bc I couldnt do anything about it, & all I wanted to do is pick up the phone & call her, bc the dreams were so pleasant. Next week is her birthday & I guess my mind is running as always & I dreamt with her yet again last night. This is my medicine to help me attempt to get over what Im feeling even though I keep thinking to myself, "It's been 6 yrs since I lost her friendship". So enjoy it my readers.