Hello Dear Friend

I'm glad you stopped by. I have some things I need to get off my chest. It's nearing Christmas & I can't stop thinking about you. 

I've heard the song I've dedicated to you about half a dozen times in the last month & somehow you keep coming into my dreams a lot lately. 

Everytime I dream of you it affects my mood & my day. A part of me wants to think you are dead so I have that to lean on & why I can't just reach out to you but my reality knows that's not true. That you are well, very much alive & taking care of those 2 boys of yours. 

I told Danny the other day how I feel empty inside. I have no desire for anything in life, it's like life doesn't mean anything to me without you in it. I just don't care about anything anymore. 

I told him that if I had you back in my life I would be happy again. I would feel for something, I would give a shit. But it won't happen, would it?! 

Where did we go wrong?!? How did it get this bad?! I only have one answer & something tells me someone else made that decision for us & we know who it is. 

I'm so depressed most days that I truly don't care for anything, I cry myself to sleep some nights just wishing we were right back to where we were 10 yrs ago. 

You are my rock. You are my sanity. Your my little sister that I miss so much! I feel like in being tortured. How can a human being torture another this way?! 

I don't think you understand how much I miss you & how much I need you! I'm just not the same without you. I don't care for life. I just don't care for much really. How can someone make such an impact in someone's life?!? Then just walk away & say we grew apart! I don't understand. 

I love you dearly. I look forward to the day I hear something from you.. Even a simple hello!

I miss you my Leli! I miss you way too much! Remember we made a promise we would never let someone get in the middle of our friendship, but I guess you allowed that to happen. I'm sorry for it all! 

God bless you & Merry Christmas. May Gid bless those beautiful boys you have. And remember I am ALWAYS thinking of you. I will always love you. I don't care if it takes another 9-10 yrs... I'll still be here waiting to hear from you!! 

I love you!