Happy Birthday, Yalee Eve

On December 27th, 2007, 3 beautiful baby Yorkies were born during the 7 PM hour, 2 boys & a little girl. My little girl, named Yalee (pronounced "Ya-Lee") Eve was the last to be born. She is the amazing daughter of our little boy, Scoobie & Lulu. She was 4 yrs in the making & I thought she would probably never come, we couldnt find the right girlfriend for Scoobie & we were just about to give up, til Lulu came in the picture. She was conceived on Halloween night & we thought she would be born on New Yrs eve & therefore her name was originally going to be Eve ::middle name unknown::, but then 2 days after Christmas, exactly 3 weeks prior to my birthday she was born. 

At 19 days she came home to be bottle fed by myself since her mother stopped producing breast milk, I knew that would be the best time to create that special bond btwn her & I. She was raised as a spoiled baby girl. Our bond grew throughout the months & she became my "cuddle bug"... about 5 times a week we have our morning ritual, my cuddle bug comes to cuddle in bed for 5 minutes before I have to get up. I dedicate those 5 minutes every morning to her, our bonding time. 

Over the years, her love & our bond together has grown in a way that many people wouldnt & couldnt understand. I always knew she would be bred to have puppies, but when that time came, I thought our bond would change, she would be different with me because of what I allowed her to go through, but during her pregnancy & after her babies were born, nothing changed, in fact her love for me grew & our attachment is even closer. She is a God sent angel. This beautiful furry child is amazing. She was & still is an amazing mom. I cant believe the things she has done for these kids of hers. After nearly 2 yrs, she is still a very active & over protective mommy & everyday I fall in love with her all over again.

Today I celebrate her & the life shes had & given me in the past 5 yrs. There are no words to the love I have for her. I look at her & cant believe that 5 yrs has past already... time is flying & im trying to enjoy her & all she has to offer. Anyone who hasnt met her, just dont know the love she has to offer. 

Her love & happiness is contagious. Even a non-dog lover will fall in love with her, thats how special she is.

So friends... send a little prayer of well wishes for her. She's my baby & deserves it. 

Happy Birthday my Yalee Eve, Grandma loves you to the moon & back. You dont know how special you are to me. Happy Birthday Momma Bear!

One Tree Hill Series Finale!

"Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from. The next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it’s right around the corner, and you open up your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you’re wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it, with all of your heart."




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Happy Birthday Leli!!!

Today I celebrate my little sister's/ Best friends, Elezia's 30th Birthday. Though her & I aren't in speaking terms & haven't been in 6 yrs, she will ALWAYS know how much I Love & miss her, she's always in my heart & no matter how long it takes, I will still be here waiting for her.

My worse days are those when I wake up after dreaming with her & knowing I cant pick up the phone & call her, but I try to listen to P!nk's "Who Knew" & feel a little better.



We became friends in the 4th grade, November of 1991. She was the only one who was my friend while others claimed I had the "cooties". During 4th & 5th grade, our friendship grew & by the time we were in 6th grade... we were at each other's houses almost every weekend or on the phone non stop, so much so that our parents got us our own phone line.

During our middle school years we were separated & she was sent to private school, but our friendship kept on growing, & all we did was have sleep overs, or talk on the phone, everything BFF's did. I spent my teen years with HER, we were inseparable. She was the rebel, but I was her accomplice, we stuck by each other. We grew up & no matter what we remained friends. During high school we got into a nasty fight that kept us apart for close to a year, & when we became friends I dont know why but I hid it from my parents, right before my 18th Birthday, then we were right back where we were before, best friends again.

She was in my life for all my teen years, & throughout all my school years, it was our Sr year & Sr pictures came rolling around & it only felt right that she was in my Sr pictures...

We had a ball this day, & my life felt complete as a teen. I swore nothing could go wrong, but it did. About a yr or so later we got into another fight & it ended for about 2.5 yrs, during this time she moved from Miami to Melbourne, FL, I was engaged & was dying to get back in touch with her & make sure I didnt get married without her there. We were back together in no time & she was right there planning my wedding with me. She wasnt my maid of honor, & though she knew why, she understood & stood by me.

The best years were the years when I got married, she would come down from Melbourne & spend the weekend at our house & we would enjoy each others company. Then it was her turn, she finally found her man, in Melbourne, the one I suppose she was going to spend the rest of her life with... & so be it, she got engaged in August of 2005, & one of my last encounters with her was Labor day weekend:

Were these pictures of 2 friends that were growing apart? Well this was the excuse I got a few years after our friendship ended 6 yrs ago. We were getting ready for her wedding & we were the best friends we could possibly be. Then one day, it just went all down the drain. This time her soon to be husband was involved & this time I knew this fight would be different, I knew the ending of this friendship wasnt going to be the same as before... a lot of things were said & things that could possibly never be forgiven for saying.

I was angry that someone that we barely knew was allowed to come into our friendship & make decisions about OUR friendship & about her life. We had promised that we would NEVER allow a guy to come into our friendship but he was too strong & she broke that promise... & it all ended.

I have tried to live life over the years, & at times its fine & easy but then there are days that are hard to get by... the worse feeling was finding out she was pregnant & that I wasnt going to be there. Babies was something we didnt really talk about, I guess we were too into living our lives than worrying about having kids... Her son was born the day after my birthday, but she was due the DAY of my birthday. I have said that there is a reason for that, like it was a sign of some sort... but one day she'll figure it out.

But at this time I want to wish her an amazing birthday & bring back some crazy memories. My eyes have watered a million times while trying to write this blog post, bc I cant believe we have gone through so much. A person that has meant so much to me & shes so out of reach... Elezia, one day we'll find our way back & when that day comes all I will care about is that we are friends again, then maybe down the future I will ask why it took so long. Until then, take care of yourself & your baby boy. I love you & I will remind you each & every year how much I do, a piece of my heart is missing & Im not the same person w/o you in my life. You used to make everything better & now its hard to see things clearly... Since you've been gone I dont smile as much as I used to, & I hurt like you cant believe. I want my best friend back, but I cant have her, I dont understand why, we are suppose to be able to pick up where we left off & go on with life, Ive been told I am angry at the world, & I am... because the ONE person who can make me smile & enjoy life, hates me.

You are missed every single day! Happy Birthday! I Love you always lil sis.

Who Knew!?

One of my favorite songs, P!nk knew how to say it best for me when I lost a dear friendship just about 6 yrs ago... One of my favorite parts is:

"If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew"

Because all I used to do is dream about her & I used to wake up tortured bc I couldnt do anything about it, & all I wanted to do is pick up the phone & call her, bc the dreams were so pleasant. Next week is her birthday & I guess my mind is running as always & I dreamt with her yet again last night. This is my medicine to help me attempt to get over what Im feeling even though I keep thinking to myself, "It's been 6 yrs since I lost her friendship". So enjoy it my readers.

The Legend of Rainbow Bridge

I am currently reading the book "All Pets go to Heaven" by Sylvia Browne, my mentor/ role model & someone I have followed for many years & trust.

As some of you know I have tons of pets & have had a ton more that have passed away & love to know how it is for them on the "Other Side" so that is why I am reading this book... it reminds me that my 1st pet & best friend Tommy is on the other side & watching over me everyday... Slyvia posts this poem which made me cry from the first sentence... enjoy.

"The Legend of Rainbow Bridge" - William N. Britton


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except one thing- they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one stops and suddenly looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent, his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face. Your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then together, you and your special pet cross THE RAINBOW BRIDGE.

Enjoy!!!!

My Father, Carlos Moreira

Today I celebrate the 58 yrs of life that my father lived in this world. 8 yrs ago today was Good Friday & The dear Lord took him to be with him. In a way I was happy bc he wasn't suffering anymore, but at the same time, him & I had just mended our relationship after many years & wanted to spend more time with him.

He was an amazing father, though he had some many flaws & we had a terrible relationship as I grew up as a teenager. I was never good enough, nor my decisions in friendship or boyfriends were always the center of many of our fights. The funny thing, those friendships & boyfriends were the ones that lasted. He was strict, boy was he, & he didn't hesitate to beat one of us if needed. It was what made the relationship so bad, but his strictness kept me away from drugs & drinking & any sexual misconduct at a young age. So when I look back now after being married for 9 yrs, I am happy for those choices that he had an impact on.

At the end of his life he was severely depressed & I tried everything to make him feel better but I guess nothing worked. I remember that fateful day on March 22, 2004 when my mom called saying he was having another "heart attack"... No matter what my heart told me to go see him, he was making up a lot of lies & we wanted to make sure they didn't continue. I remember getting to the hospital & he was yellow. I stuck around for a while & had to leave & sometimes I blame myself for that, bc if they knew what he was up to sometimes he wouldn't have ended up where he was.

He was left on some type of life support even though when we went to visit he made this scene when he heard my moms voice. My uncle, his best friend threw a tantrum to know that he was on life support as that wasn't his wishes. The Dr swore he was gonna make it & therefore there was a difference. Yeah right. It only took them 2 weeks to tell us that they did all they could to get him to breathe on his own.

So he was taken off of it & transferred to hospice. He was there for 3 days before he died. I remember on Thursday morning, everyone went to see him, then most went to lunch but I stuck around, & this large black woman walked in & talked to me, I don't remember about what but I remember her saying "Honey, make sure you say his goodbyes, he won't make it to the weekend." I remember telling her this would be the perfect weekend for him to go & would hope he goes on Sunday, she said she didn't think hell make it that far. No one else ever saw her, & she was never heard of again... My feelings tell me she was my angel & preparing me for his passing. Bc I always knew that one of my angels was a large black woman which I used to see in my dreams but never saw her face.

The next day at 3:00pm he was pronounced dead. Friday, Good Friday, around the time Jesus died. It was weird bc I had a feeling it was gonna happen & it did. It was a long week preparing for the 7 day service.

But it was great & so many people came out & the outpouring love & support we got from friends & family were amazing, my father did touch the hearts of many people, & for that I am truly proud for being his daughter even after all the things we went through. Every time I am dealing with a legal situation I stop & think & wish my dad was alive so I can ask him for advice, talk to him, run to him for help or whatever.

I miss his smile. His laughter. His little annoying nervous tick when he was mad. His passion for animals (which I followed in his footsteps). His smell. I just miss him period.

I know he's having the time of his life in heaven, he has his 5 favorite people with him, his dad, his best friend, Uncle Russ, & his 3 favorite dogs, BigShot, Tommy & Annie.

I know he watches over me bc sometimes I don't have the strength to go on with this crazy thing called life, & I know he's the one who keeps me going when I wanna give up, that was him to never give up, try harder & I know he wouldn't let me give up, specially not that easy.

Dad, I love you. I miss you & hope you are having fun. Don't forget to come visit me in my dreams, i haven't seen you in a while. I know your resting in peace so no need to say RIP, your having a ball everyday up there. I'm jealous. Enjoy & see you later.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

One Tree Hill: Danny Boy- Nate/ Dan RC Convo {Spoiler}

Here is the convo btwn Nate & Dan on the Rivercourt ( One Tree Hill- 9x11- Danny Boy)...

Nate: Dad? Dad (on the RC), Y does this have to be so difficult? Ur my father, so I should love you but Ive spent so much of my life hating you.
Dan: I was a terrible father, I know that.
Nate: U know I can justify a lot of the screwed up things that you've done, U bullied me b/c U wanted to make me tough, tried to ruin my marriage b/c u wanted me to have a career, U even burned down your diner b/c u wanted to see me again, but I cant understand how you could murder your own brother? & Im worried, Im worried that when your gone thats all Ill remember & Ill still hate you for it.
Dan: U should hate me for it.
Nate: So why did you do it?
Dan: I was always jealous of Keith, even when we were kids, I was athletic, popular, all the things he wasnt, but still I was jealous of him, people were drwan to Keith & I hated him for it.
Nate: So U shot him b/c people liked him more.
Dan: The day I shot Keith I was in a dark place, I was convinced he tried to kill me, I had lost you, divorced your mom, my life was spiraling downwards & meanwhile Keith was building a new life with my high school sweetheart & the child I abandoned & every time I looked at him I felt like I was being punched in the gut!
Nate: So what happened in that hallway?
Dan: Keith wanted to go into that school to save that kid. So I let him go, hoping he'd get shot, let him be the hero, the dead hero. The I thought, why should he be the hero, when it could be me? So I followed him in, Jimmy was crying & Keith was telling him "It gets better, that pain in your heart, the voice in your head that tells you there is no way out, its wrong, it gets better." & I felt like he was talking to me & in that moment, maybe in the most heroic, kindest moment of my big brother's life, I hated him, I hated him more than anyone or anything b/c nothing had gotten better, that pain was still in my heart, that voice in my head saying that theres no way out was right & he was standing there lying to me. After Jimmy died, I picked up the gun & aimed it at Keith & he looked at me & all I can think of was how everything that had gone wrong in my life was all his fault & it wasnt going to get better til he was gone. Just pull the trigger & it all ends, so I pulled that trigger & it didnt end, it got worse. {crying} Im so sorry, Im so sorry, Im so sorry!
Nate: There are alot of people you need to say "Im sorry" to, but Im not one of them. I wouldnt be where I am if it wasn't for you, my career, my family, my life. No matter what you've done, you're still my father. You're my father & I love you!
Dan: Oh, Nathan, I love you too!... U know we never got a chance to play a game on the rivercourt, how about it?
Nate: What do you want to play to?
Dan: Let's not keep score. For once let's just play to play.
{They play basketball... All Happy.. then...}
Nate: Dad? Dad? (beeping sound in background) Dad? Dad, hey!? Hey! Dad come on.

RIP Dan Scott.... Camera pans around & there's Keith looking back.